House of Kiln, jesters to the Empire
Foolscap award 2001

The Foolscap award is awarded to the warrior who has, in the opinion of the Jesters of the Empire, been the most serious in his/her approach to Klindom.   This award was concieved to be an annual event, but the recent real-world events brought some hitherto unkown serious warriors to the much that our sensor screens lit up like Praxis on a dark night.    Since it was the warriors on the Klingonwarriors Yahoo group who were subjected to the perverted muqaD veS, we decided to offer all a chance to vote for their favorite petaQ...the winner, by far was Pendraigon .   
This is the only image we have found of our winner, Pendraigon

Let's take a trip down memory lane and re-read the winning posts of this great warrior:
ja'chuq of Pendraigon
All postings taken directly from the archives of the Klingonwarriors e-group
From:  pendraig@m...
           Date:  Wed Sep 19, 2001  8:10 pm
           Subject:  Canadian Cowards

While perusing the missives of this thread my TV has been tuned to the local Canadian channel they were holding their version of a 'Townhall', It was interesting to hear how our Canadian neighbors though of and viewed us. (keep in mind that the canuckleheads have nothing approximating our own Bill of Rights or Constitution.)
They are,not to surprisingly given their feminist poltics for 'appeasement', 'life at any price', and that we should pour money into the impoversihed countries.  And that what we reaped on 9-11-01 was a direct result of our attempts to 'westernize' Afghanistan.
Don't take my word for it go here, view the transcripts and listen to the chat yourself.    Keep in mind that we share our longest unguarded border with these two-faced milque toasts, and, given their excessively liberal immigration policies, Ben laden himself could show up at Canuck customs, demand and receive asylum.  Hell, he'd probably be feted, and paraded at all the 'in' parties.
Being a Michiganian and having to deal with those chuckleheads on a daily basis, I can be silghtly...biased
This, of course, brings a response from our Canadian warriors to defend their honor

  From:  "Hypersapien" <hypersapien@m...>
           Date:  Thu Sep 20, 2001  7:31 am
           Subject:  Re: {KlingonWarriors} Canadian Cowards
Yes, I suppose we might just let Osama Bin Laden in... apparently we allow your narrow-minded, bigotted, uneducated carcass to cross our border into our country without question so letting him in couldn't be much worse.
I had been feeling sorry for all of the people of the U.S. and the World for that matter because it just so happens that there were a large number of CANDIANS lost in the attack on the WORLD TRADE CENTER as well!
Perhaps what you heard on the CBC was only part of a debate over MOTIVE behind the terrorist assault and NOT a CANADIAN opinion poll. You might try getting the full story first. Now why don't you direct you anger and aggression in a useful direction, like toward the person or persons responsible for the attack instead of a country that is allied with yours.
By the way if you have been listening to Canadian news then you may have also picked up that since the attack WE have had several bomb threats aboard aircraft and trains headed for our major cities so you are again not the only one iin danger.
So in parting if you don't like dealing with us stay on your side of the border! I sincerely hope that this persons comments are not reflective of the rest of the U.S. subscribers on this list.
Our KKKlingon from Michigan continues his assault.

 From:  pendraig@m...
 Date:  Thu Sep 20, 2001  10:09 am
Subject:  Re: {KlingonWarriors} Canadian Cowards
OOOOhhhh!! you really told me off!
As to 'staying on my side of the border', I allready do there being little of interest in your milque toast country. More's the pity that you chalk-spine vermin don't do the same. Everytime I go shopping there are almost a equal number of Canuck cars in the lot as American..if Canada is all that why don't your own people shop there? Could it be because that the 4 different taxes your politicians levy on EVERYTHING have something to do with it? Hows about your health care neh? It is so great that Canucks sufferring from life threatening maladies have to come HERE and clog up our local hospitals.
As to your 'bomb threats' puh-lease! Any terrorist worth the name knows you bunch are'nt worth the slightest effort. All they have to do is phone in a bunch of bomb threats, cut off the flow of Latte for an hour and you lot will give him the country.
Hit a nerve with Bin laden bit did'nt I?  Cause you and I know it is true:  Ben Laden makes it to your laughable country and asks for asylum he would get it.
And I am still rolling with laughter over the 'uncontrollable' forest fire incident.
Gutless, cravens.
The old saying "Only a fool fights in a burning house" is lost on this warrior:

From:  pendraig@m...
Date:  Thu Sep 20, 2001  11:17 am
Subject:  Re: {KlingonWarriors} Canadian Cowards
> --- Gayla & David Taylor <klingon@o...> wrote:
> > Your opinion is as important as the next.> > HOWEVER there is no need for this.  > > I RARELY threaten!!!!> > However if the FLAMING does not stop> > I will put you on moderation
And now, he begins to puff up with tales of his real world warrior's experience
From:  pendraig@m...
Date:  Thu Sep 20, 2001  9:00 pm
Subject:  Re: {KlingonWarriors} Canadian Cowards
I am not avoiding your inquiries kaos.
I was pondering an approriate response, given the onion skin sensibilities so prevalent among this grooup of 'klingons'-Tammies short attention span also being a factor.
Given those considerations I shall keep it short and sweet:
Alpha Company, 4th Battlaion 73rd Armoured,3rd platoon,1st Infantry division-Forward.
And I enlisted in an era when that was dmost unpopular. NOT because it was either that or flippin burgers, or to get my college paid for as is so predominant today.
1972-1984  all of it except 7 months were served in Germany, spent two years squatting around the Fulda gap waiting for the balloon to go up. Then got rotated to run border patrols.
As to 'action' I've seen a bit-talk to the green beanies who, doing a bit of snoopin and poopin ran into a bit of interference and called for backup from the 'heavy hitters', in order to extract.
You talk big swabbie, but you are not a soldier.
I have met REAL seals, e'en shared a drink or two with them
And they were cut from an entirely different mold.  Quiet,PROFESSIONAL with  brass balls <we tankers did'nt mind that ours after all were made from cast armour :) They did'nt brag, or go about louding telling everyone who or what they were-a TRUE fighter doe'snt need or  have too.
If you were a actual seal, and a 'constituionalist', as you profess then you would'nt be making the outrageous remarks that you have.
As to that 'homophobic' crack-I don't recall saying anything about the navy.
ROFLMBFKAO!!!!!!!!  Houston....we have achieved TMI!!!  NEVER drop your guard, warrior.   But he did, and the coup de grace was delivered:
From:  "Kaolin, son of Kiln" <qaolin@y...>
 Date:  Thu Sep 20, 2001  9:09 pm
 Subject:  Re: {KlingonWarriors} Canadian Cowards
--- In klingonwarriors@y..., pendraig@m... wrote:
> Alpha Company, 4th Battlaion 73rd Armoured,3rd platoon,> 1st Infantry division-Forward.> 1972-1984
So, no combat experience then?  Unless you consider drunken brawls over some female in a club in Boblingen.
I was there from 75-78
3rd Battlion 63 Armored HHC 1st IDF
All the action we saw was Reforger and trips to hot-spots like Grafenwohr,Hohensfels and Wildflicken....same as you.
So don't get so macho...It's obvious you are too old and fat to get called back to the colors, same as me.
Sorry David...I couldn't let this one go....first and only flame for me....Enjoy the poll all {{:{)>
Chief Lunatic
Pendraigon, I'm afraid, tried the "Kozak Maneuver" (falling on his knife).   It didn't work any better for him than it did for Kozak.   It has now been nearly three months since that exchange and our winner has cloaked and stayed that way.  The House of Kiln is honored to give this award to a most deserving warrior.

Foolscap award 2002
The Foolscap award is awarded to the warrior who has, in the opinion of the Jesters of the Empire, been the most serious in his/her approach to Klindom.
This year's recipient has a disreputable record.  He has accosted everyone at past conventions with his tales of Klingon prowess and his theories on everything under the sun.   He has been a perennial thorn in the flesh to fandom in the Portland, Oregon area for several years with his tall tales  and fantasies, even when you remind him it is just a television show.
Sounds like just another fangoober, you might say.
But this year's winner is more than a normal fangoober ...this goober achieved the impossible by being booted out of his parent organization:  KAG DEMON FLEET!!!!  
Unbelievable as it seems...this year's recipient was an embarrassment to Demon Fleet!!!
All we can say is:    Q'apla!!!  Eddie Vantiger!  Winner of the House Kiln FOOLSCAP award for 2002.

ja'chuq of Eddie Vantiger
"I can't think of anyone better for the foolscap"...Maj. Kuge vestai Kiln, IKAV Raptor
The IKV Dragon's Claw has always been home for some strange fans, but none stranger than Mr. Vantiger.
Eddie has been the self-proclaimed voice and front-man for the Dragon's Claw for several years.  His persona is of a Klingon doctor in the Alternate Universe who is "smarter than Bashir".'s your happy little world.  He has, in the past, claimed that Paramount had given him the entire Gre'thor set from the Voyager episode Barge of the Dead.   He also claimed that he and his group had the free use of the old Godfather's Pizza building at Lloyd Center, despite the fact that it has been a parking lot for the last decade.      But his fantasy doesn't stop there.   At Orycon this last November he was witnessed by many people haranguing the fan table liason and Con security with the wild tales of being promised a 12 ft fan table in the main lobby and insisting that the area be cleared since "...the major networks and CNN are showing up to see us."       

put it back in the rack