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Klingon Karaoke

Songs created, compiled and sung...badly...by the House of Kiln

All translations and filk on this page, unless otherwise noted,  are the intellectual property of Jim Colvill,  Permission  for use is granted as long as credit is given to the artists listed.   All applicable records are filed with the Imperial Registry who become very upset over theft and have been known to commit assorted acts of mayhem to include dismemberment, disfigurement, humilation and in some cases total destruction of the biosphere of the planet.   Be warned.

It's been a good run since we started back in February of 2002. But, as they say, all good things must come to an end. I thank the staff at Sabala's Mt. Tabor for one last go at performing. Who knows, we may show up at a bar near you. But for now it is for other warriors to take up the gauntlet. Thanks to the fans for all the fun and enjoy the memories here. Qaolin.

Get all your Klingon language needs from the Klingon Language Institute

thlIngan Hol yIjHaD  : www.kli.org

 STARSHIP ENTERPRISE

Sung to the tune O LITTLE TOWN OF BETHLEHEM

Lyrics by Kaolin ,son of Kiln

 Oh wreck of Starship Enterprise,

How still we see thee lie

We tried to tell your Captain Kirk

It was a good day to die.

You've done six five year missions

This was your final leg

And now, at last , you understand

bIjeghbe'chugh vaj Hegh

The Battle of Deep Space Nine

a filk by qargh  mu'toHpuqloD ( aka Jerry Angle)

Sung to the tune The Battle of New Orleans by Johnny Horton

In twenty three seventy four we took a little trip Along with General Martok in his mighty fighting ship We took along some gagh and a barrel of bloodwine and we fought the bloody Jemmies  in the Battle of DS9 (Chorus) We fired our guns and the Jemmies kept a'commin' There wansn't quite as many as there was a while ago. We fired once more and they began to beamin' off the captured station with their Cardy scum in tow We looked at our viewscreens and we saw the Jemmies there There must have been twelve hundred ships, give or take a pair Their warp core signatures made our sensors sing We sat behind our consoles and we didn't say a thing (chorus) We fired our guns and the Jemmies kept a'commin' There wansn't quite as many as there was a while ago. We fired once more and they began to beamin' off the captured station with their Cardy scum in tow The General said we could take'em by surprise If we didn't drop our cloaks 'till we looked 'em in the eyes We kept our cloak 'till we saw their eyeballs swell And when we finally opened up , we really gave them, wellll... We fired our guns and the Jemmies kept a'commin' There wansn't quite as many as there was a while ago. We fired once more and they began to beamin' off the captured station with their Cardy scum in tow (Refrain) They beamed from the holds and they beamed from the pylons They beamed from the galleys where a tribble couldn't go They beamed so fast that our targs couldn't catch 'em Off the captured station with their Cardy scum in tow We fired our disruptors 'till the barrels melted down So we grabbed us a Ferengi and we fought another round We filled his head with fletchette rounds and powdered up his robes And when we touched the powder off the carcass blew it's lobes We fired our guns and the Jemmies kept a'commin' There wansn't quite as many as there was a while ago. We fired once more and they began to beamin' off the captured station with their Cardy scum in tow (Refrain) They beamed from the holds and they beamed from the pylons They beamed from the galleys where a tribble couldn't go They beamed so fast that our targs couldn't catch 'em Off the captured station with their Cardy scum in tow wa', cha', wej, loS   pejach!  Q'apla!

The following songs were translated from English into Klingon.  While they will not appeal to the HolQeD purists in the empire, keep in mind that popular songs on Earth are not written in the high tongue either.  It is extremely tricky to make the Klingon lyrics fit the tune and yet still be understood.   I think these are a good attempt and present them here for your enjoyment.   Each has a MIDI file link which you can click on for musical accompaniment.

THE MINSTREL BOY

loDHom lutbomwI'

Translated by Kaolin, son of Kiln

first sung in public at the Sheridan Days parade ( Sheridan, Or) june 2000.

We were so lucky to have the Kells bagpipe band ahead of us.  This sings well

with bagpipe and drums accompianment

The minstrel boy to the war has gone In the ranks of Death you will find him His father's sword he has girded on and his wild harp slung behind him Land of song, said the warrior bard, tho' all the world betray thee one sword, at least, thy rights shall guard one faithful harp shall praise thee

noHdaq loDHom lutbomwI' jaHta' wey Heghta'Daq Daqavna batlhetlh vavDaj 'e' tuqmoHta' ej Diron'oy DubDaq tuqchu' puH bommey 'Ipta' SuvbomwI' qoHochlI lImaghnavIStaH batlhlIj avtaH bej wa' batlhetlh 'ej wa' DIron lIquvmoHtaH

Kaolin belts it out....Ol' Blue Eyes is back

How in the name of Kahless did a Warrior end up in this position?

After escaping a Jem Hadar patrol sometime in 2375 , Kaolin and his crew found themselves taking their battered ship into a seemingly innocent gaseous anomaly.   The anomoly turned out to be an unstable temporal vortex which threw the hapless crew into Sector 001 of the Alpha Quadrant and nearly 400 years in the past.   Replacement parts for a B'rel class bird of prey are hard to come by in this time period  and traditional Klingon interpersonal skills were ineffective, Kaolin had to resort to non -traditional methods to procure the material and kill time waiting for engineers and technologhy to catch up .    Outnumbered by primitave Dirters and without a way back to their proper dimension, the intrepid warriors of the House of Kiln found themselves in a precarious position.    Then they learned of another dimensional portal in a Portland, Oregon nightclub.   This portal, unfortunately, turned out to be a one-way wormhole allowing aliens to come in but not to leave.

So now, Kaolin is trapped.  But a warrior makes the best of any situation.  By presenting a good face to the primitave Dirters, Kaolin primes them for the eventual take-over by the empire....In fact , the Dirters will beg for it.  Then Kaolin will achieve the glory that is his due.  taHjaj wo' !  Kai Kassai Kaolin

My Way

Da wIj

Revaux/ Francois/ Anka

Translation by Kaolin

This is not a Literal translation but the spirit of the song is there.  

Some words were changed for lack of a corresponding Klingon word.

Kaolin sang this at Norwescon 24.  It brought the house down

And now, the end is near And so I face the final curtain My friend, i'll say it clear I'll state my case of which I'm certain I've lived a life that's full I've travelled each and ev'ry Highway But more,much more than this I did it my way. Regrets, I've had a few but then again, too few to mention I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption I planned each charte course Each careful step along the byway But more, much more than this I did it my way. Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew When I bit off more than I could chew But through it all, when there was doubt I ate it up and spit it out I faced it all and I stood tall And did it my way I've loved, I've laughed and cried I've had my fill, my share of losing and now, as tears subside I find it all so amusing To think I did all that And may I say, not in a shy way No, oh no not me I did it my way For  what is a man , What has he got If not himself, then he has naught to say the things hes truly feels and not the words of one who kneels The record shows, I took the blows and did it my way

toH, DaH, Hopbe' mevwI vangQavqoq vIlegh 'je jupwI, Huvchu' qajatlh ta'meywIjna' jIjatlh yIn'ov jIyInta' Hoch Daqmey jIlengta' ach pup, ach pupchu' pItlh DawIj paymey, puSvIghaj ach puSHom vItoghQo' QuvwIj jIvangta' HutlhmoS jIHeQta' Hoch Hemmey jInabta' Hoch yep Qod nabta' je ach pup, ach pupchu' pItlh DawIj HIja poHmey, bISovbejta' law' 'a' jIchoplaw'ta' ach Honmey ghajchugh jISopta' ej jIthlhISHur jISub jen jIQan je ej pItlh DawIj jIbang, jIHagh, jISaQ jeymey juvwIj vIghajta' ej DaH vetlh nup tiq 'oy qIDlaw' Hoch jItu' Qub Hoch Dochmey jIvum jIjatlhjaj Dapujbe' ghobe', ghobe', not jIH pItlh DawIj nuq loD 'a', nuq ghaj 'a' batlhbe'chugh vaj pagh ghaj vIt Dochmey 'e' Sov jatlh not mu'mey jeghwIDa QonoS tob, HIvmey jIjey pItlh DawIj

Bad to the Bone

as recorded by George Thorogood and the Destroyers

HomDaq JIqab

Translation by Kaolin,

In January, 2002, Clyde Lewis and I started a SciFi night at a Bodacious Classics, a local Portland night club.  We started an act called Klingon Karaoke (borrowing the term from the event at Norwescon 24)  as a fun thing.  It took off.  Needing more material, I translated another karaoke standard into Klingon.

On the day I was born The nurses all gathered 'round And they gazed in wide wonder At the joy they had found   The head nurse spoke up And she said leave this one alone   She could tell right away That I was bad to the bone Bad to the bone Bad to the bone B-B-B-B-Bad to the bone    B-B-B-B-Bad B-B-B-B-Bad Bad to the bone I broke a thousand hearts Before I met you   I'll break a thousand more Baby Before I am through I wanna be your's pretty baby Your's and your's alone I'm here to tell ya honey That I'm bad to the bone                  Bad to the bone B-B-B-Bad B-B-B-Bad B-B-B-Bad Bad to the bone (solo) I make a rich woman beg I'll make a good woman steal     I'll make an old woman blush And make a young woman squeal I wanna be your's pretty baby Your's and your's alone I'm here to tell ya honey That I'm bad to the bone           B-B-B-B-Bad B-B-B-B-Bad B-B-B-B-Bad Bad to the bone (solo two) And when I walk the streets Kings and Queens step aside   Every woman I meet They all stay satisfied    I wanna tell ya pretty baby Well Ya see I make my own   I'm here to tell ya honey That I'm bad to the bone    Bad to the bone B-B-B-B-Bad B-B-B-Bad B-B-B-Bad Bad to the bone

jIboghta'DI', Hoch ajmaHpu ma'Dech Quchjey tu'ta' je, tIn poS mInDu'chaj toH  yIDoHqu'!  nujatlh ra'wI' muthlojbejta' HomDaq qab HomDaq jIqab, HomDaq jIqab, qqqqqab,qqqqab,HomDaq jIqab  wa'SanID tIqDu',bIghoSpa jIghor cha'SanID tIqDu, jImevpa jIghor  be''IH choghajtaH, bIneH choghaj bang 'oy qajatlh, HomDaq jIqab HomDaq jIqab,qqqqab,qqqqab, HomDaq jIqab (mob Hom) be'mIp vIqoy'moH, be' maj vInIHmoH be' qan vIthlu'moH,  be'Qup vISaQmoH be' 'IH choghajtaH, bIneH choghaj bang 'oy qajatlh, HomDaq jIqab qqqqab, qqqqab,qqqqab....HomDaq jIqab (mob 'a') ta'pu je ta'be'  muDoHvIp  Hoch be'pu vIghom vIyontaHDI' be' 'IH vIjatlh ,  HochwI' jIghaj bang 'oy qajatlh, HomDaq jIqab HomDaq jIqab, qqqqab, qqqqab, qqqqab, HomDaq jIqab

The crew of the PKV Rut'leDj and associates enjoy a refueling stop at Bodacious Classics.

Klingonwarrior's Lament

Yes, I know.  This one is not a translation but a rewrite, or filk, The most unusual feature here is the fact that it, for the most part rhymes when sung in Klingon.  

lyrics by Kaolin, sung to the tune Indian Reservation by Paul Revere and the Raiders

They took the whole Klingon Defense Force and put it behind the Neutral Zone May we regain our traditions the batletlhs and our d'k'tags They make the Klingon tongue unimportant and teach their language to our children All the men we killed, we now serve racht to their children Klingon warriors, we will not surrender we live with honor, we die with honor The took the whole Klingon Empire and gave us their Khitomer accords and that peace makes us cry I remain undoubtably a Klingon warrior Klingon warriors, we will not surrender we live with honor, we die with honor but someday they will learn we are Klingons and we continue to fightI

Hoch thlIngan Hubbeq luthlapta' je neHmeH 'emDaq lulanta' lurDechmeymaj  DIlujHa'jaj betleHmey ej  daqtahgmeymaj thlIngan ta' Hol  lupuSmoH puqmaj  Holchaj lughojmoH 'ej Hoch loDpu' law' DIHoHta' DaH racht e' puqpu'chaj DIjab SuvwI'pu' thlIngan, not majegh batlh mayIn, batlh maHegh Hoch thlIngan wo' luthlapta' mablIj QI'tomer  lunobta' 'ej roj maghaj 'e' nuSaQmoH thlIngan SuvwI' bej  mataH SuvwI'pu' thlIngan, not majegh batlh mayIn, batlh maHegh 'ach    leSlaw    DIghoj chaq thlIngan maH je maSuvtaH, maSuvtaH  maSuvtaH, maSuvtaH, maSuvtaH

The Klingon Baseball Song

Translation by Kaolin

HovpoH 10205.24  Kaolin is asked to sing a traditional song at an earther game called Baseball.

viewing the game and seeing it similar to a more bellicose Klingon version, Kaolin translates their song

into the Imperial tongue, albeit with a decidedly warrior flavor.

Thanks to Dream Weaver , the Portland Beavers and the LasVegas 51's for a fantastic alien invasion evening at

PGE Park.   I still refuse to do YMCA....will not do it.

Take me out to the ball game Take me out with the crowd buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks, I don't care if we ever get back It's root, root , root for the home team If they don't win it's a shame, for it's one, two , three strikes you're out At the old, ball game.

beySbol Quj Daq majaH pa' ghom'a' DItlhej lengSop lengthlutlth je yIje' mev notjaj taHjaj Qujmey SuvwI'pu'maj DIquvmoH 'e' yayHa'chugh DIquvHa' baHHa' wejlogh nIHoch Daq beySbol QujlIj

We go to the baseball place we accompany the crowd there buy some travel food and drink may it never end, may it continue we honor our warriors if they lose then they are dishonored misfire three times , they kill you at our baseball game

VeqlarghDaq  yIjach

Translation by Kaolin

Shout at the Devil   (Nikki Sixx)    

''We have no devil, Kirk.  But we are familiar with the habits of yours'' Klingon Commander Kang to Cpt. Kirk in the ST:OS episode ''Day of the Dove''

Kang was correct.  Klingons have no devil; neither do they have gods.  They do, however, have a creature known as Fek'lhr  who guards the gates of Grethor, where the dishonored go after death.

A Klingon adaptation of Motley Crue's Shout at the Devil.  Mind you, this is not a word for word translation.  There is NO way the actual translation could track correctly.  Essentially every other line of lyrics was transposed to Klingon in order to track correctly while being sung and yet still maintain the spirit of the Sixx's version.   This was the winner at Klingon Karaoke at Norwescon 26 (2003)

ramDaq  jach targh rur rur ravDaq 'Iw 'e' taH nepgachmeyDaj nIthlumoH DublIjDaq taj 'e' taH HeHtaj rur, QeH'a' taH toH! yImajDaq mamob 'ach poHmeyDaq raghghach 'e' maQam yIHoS, yIHagh 'ej jach! jach! jach! veqlarghDaq yIjach mInpu'lIjDaq bang taHlI joj Daq 'uSpulIj 'Iw 'e' taHli vangtaH Da qoy' HoSlIj tob bIQoybejlu' Qong DaqDaq Seyghach 'e' chegh DIngtaH nachwIj 'ach poHmeyDaq raghach 'e' maQam yIHoS, yIHagh 'ej jach! jach! jach! veqlarghDaq yIjach

Like a targ screaming in the night He's like blood on the floor you are tempted by his deception He is the knife in your back He is as a knife's edge, He's rage Oh!  We are alone in our life but  in times of decay, we stand Be strong and laugh shout! shout!shout! Shout at the Feklhr. He's the love in your eyes He's the blood between your legs you beg for it to continue, your strength is tested.   You undoubtedly have heard it. He returns excitement to bed My head spins continuously but in times of decay, we stand be strong and laugh shout! shout! shout! Shout at the feklhr.

Veng wa'DIch

bomvIlq  thlIngan sung to the tune Paradise City from the Guns & Rose's album Appetite for Destruction

translation by Qaolin   , HovpoH 10307.23

just a' urchin living under the street i'm a hard case that's tough to beat I'm your charity case so buy me something to eat I'll pay you at another time take it to the end of the line Rags to riches so they say ya gotta keep pushin' for the fortune and fame It's all a gamble when it's just a game ya' treat it like a capital crime everybody's doin' their time. Take me down to Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty Take me home. Strapped in the chair    of the city's gas chamber Why I'm here I can't quite remember, The surgeon general says it's hazardous to breathe I'd have another cigarette but I can't see    Tell me who you're gonna believe      Take me down To the paradise city Where the grass is green And the girls are pretty    Take me home So far away So far away So far away So far away Captain America's been torn apart Now he's a court jester with a broken heart He said-   Turn me around and   take me back to the start I must be losin' my mind- "Are you blind?"   I've seen it all a million times Take me down   To the paradise city   Where the grass is green And the girls are pretty Take me home I wanna go I wanna go Please take me home I've gotta see I've gotta see please, please take me home

lengDaq bIng  yIn ghewrur letpach jIH Qatlh ghorlu' qoywI'lI' jIH Sop vay' choje' rut qaDIl mev loghDaq  yItlhaplu' "Duj yIvoq"  mujatlhtaH  quvghach noyghach   vengtaHmeH Hoch SuDghach Soch Quj moHDI' Hoch   rur  HeS 'a'  boQIHlu' Hochpu'lu'  bIj    veng wa'DIch    Daq cholup pa' Iw' HIq SoD   HoS be'pu' ma' juHDaq chotatlh    quS toQDuj 'e' muwegh qatlh naDev jIba' jISovbe' Sa' nujatlh jaghpu' DIHoch pagh nejwI' 'ang 'Iv Har ? tuja' veng wa'DIch Daq cholup pa' Iw' HIq SoD HoS be'pu' ma' juHDaq chotatlh HopDaq 'a' HopDaq 'a' HopDaq 'a' HopDaq 'a' jay ch'ImDIr qeylIS ta' soch DaH HaghwI' rur ghortIq ghajbej nujatlhta'- taghghach Daq tulup yabwIj jIchIlbej leghHa' 'a'     'uy'logh jIleghta' veng wa'DIch Daq cholup      pa' Iw' HIq SoD HoS be'pu' ma' juHDaq chotatlh ghoSlu' jI neH ghoSlu' jIneH juHDaq chotatlh leghlu' jInIS leghlu' jInIS juHDaq chotatlh

under the road living like a bug I'm a hard claw difficult to crack I'm your beggar buy me some food sometimes I'll pay you take it to the end of space "trust your instincts" they say, you keep working for for honor and fame Everything is a gamble Everything is made a game they treat it like a major crime. Everyone suffers The First City transport me there where bloodwine floods the women are strong take me home they imprison me in the chair of a Bird of Prey Why I'm here, I don't know the general says we kill the enemy sensors show nothing Who to believe? tell me! The First City transport me there where bloodwine floods the women are strong take me home very far very far very far very $*&^#(@ far Kahless is an empty skin He is like a jester he has a broken heart he said to the beginning return me I definitely lost my mind are you sightless? a million times I have seen it. The First City transport me there where bloodwine floods the women are strong take me home

Alive or Dead

yIn ghap Hegh

bomvIlq tlhIngan sung to the tune of Wanted Dead or Alive

Album: Slippery When Wet

J. Bon Jovi, R. Sambora

Filk & translation by Qaolin  HovpoH 10308.22

It's all the same, only the names will change Everyday it seems we're wasting away I see cold faces everywhere I'd fight all night Just to get back home I'm a warrior, in a Bird of Prey I act (w/o a plan) I'm wanted dead or alive Wanted dead or alive Sometimes I sleep, sometimes it's not for days And the people I meet sing another battle song Sometimes you tell the day By the bottle that you drink And times when you're alone and all you do is think I'm a warrior, in a Bird of Prey I act I'm wanted dead or alive Wanted dead or alive I walk these battlefields , a batlh'etlh on my back I play for keeps, 'cause I might not make it back I been everywhere, still I'm standing tall I've seen a million foes And I've slain them all I'm a warrior, in a Bird of Prey I act I'm wanted dead or alive I'm a warrior, in a Bird of Prey I act I'm wanted dead or alive Wanted dead or alive

Hoch raplu', neH choH pongmey maraghtaHlaw' Hoch jajmey lanmey Hoch, qabpu' bIr jIlegh Hoch ram jISuvruptaHmeH juHwIj jIchegh SuvwI' jIH toQDujDaq jIDegh muneH ,yIn ghap Hegh muneH ,yIn ghap Hegh rut jIQong,  rut jajmey  jIQongbe' may' bom pIn bom Hoch ghotpu' rut  jajmey vItoghlaH balmeymo'  vIthlutlh 'ej bImoblI'  bIQubbejlaw' SuvwI' jIH toQDujDaq jIDegh muneH, yIn ghap Hegh muneH, yIn ghap Hegh che'ronmeyDaq vIyIt. DubwIjDaq betleH ghaytan jIcheghQo'  reH jISuvchu' DatDaq vIlengta' 'ej jIQam, jIchongbej 'uy'jaghpu' vIlegh Hoch vIHoHchu'bej SuvwI' jIH toQDujDaq jIDegh muneH, yIn ghap Hegh SuvwI' jIH toQDujDaq jIDegh muneH, yIn ghap Hegh muneH, yIn ghap Hegh

Qaolin In performance.

photo by Abby Dansinger from the Portland Mercury article

Click on the image to go to the Mercury article page.

Addicted to War

veS DaneHtaH

bomvIlq thlIngan Hol by Qaolin

Sung to the tune of Addicted to Love  by Robert Palmer

HovpoH 10309.08

your lights are on, the room is empty a force field surrounds your mind your heart races, the blood screams another battle calls to you you don't sleep, you don't eat You know you won't escape your throat is closed you can't breathe another battle calls to you you think you are able to resist the influence closer to true you can't get enough you must realize you continuously need war you see the message but you can't read it you run yourself at different speed your heart beats at double speed another battle calls to you Hungry as gagh, you wont save yourself always, you wait for your blood to boil if enough remains you don't care if you take action you think you are able to resist the influence closer to true you can't get enough you must realize you continuously need war you must realize you continuously need war you must realize you continuously need war you must realize you continuously need war you must realize you continuously need war you must realize you continuously need war your lights are on, the room is empty a force field surrounds your mind your heart races, the blood screams another battle calls to you you think you are able to resist the influence closer to true you can't get enough you must realize you continuously need war you must realize you continuously need war you must realize you continuously need war you must realize you continuously need war you must realize you continuously need war you must realize you continuously need war

poS wovghachlIj ,/ 'ach pa' chIm yablIj / Dech Surchem tIqlIj chung / jachtaH 'Iw latlh Hargh / Duponglu' DaQongbe' /, DaSopbe' DanarghQo'/ DaSovbej Soq HughlIj / DatlhuHbe'chu' latlh Hargh / Duponglu' whoa...moHgach Da'omlaH 'e' DaHar, HIja vItgach Daq chollu' yap Dusuqbe'law' veS DaneHtaH  yItlhojqu'laH QIn Dalegh 'ach/ DalaDbe' Do joS / Duqet'egh cha'logh Dos  / tIqlIj Qaplu' latlh Hargh/ Duponglu' ghung qagh rur,/ toD'egh DaQo' pub 'IwlIj / reHtaH DaloS ratlhchugh / Duyaplu'meH Davangchugh / DaSaHbe' whoa- moHgach Da'omlaH 'e' DaHar, HIja' vItgach Daq chollu' yap Dusuqbe'law'   veS DaneHtaH  yItlhojqu'laH veS DaneHtaH  yItlhojqu'laH veS DaneHtaH  yItlhojqu'laH veS DaneHtaH  yItlhojqu'laH veS DaneHtaH  yItlhojqu'laH veS DaneHtaH  yItlhojqu'laH poS wovghachlIj ,/ 'ach pa' chIm yablIj / Dech Surchem tIqlIj chung / jachtaH 'Iw latlh Hargh / Duponglu' whoa...moHgach Da'omlaH 'e' DaHar, HIja vItgach Daq chollu' yap Dusuqbe'law' veS DaneHtaH  yItlhojqu'laH veS DaneHtaH  yItlhojqu'laH veS DaneHtaH  yItlhojqu'laH veS DaneHtaH  yItlhojqu'laH veS DaneHtaH  yItlhojqu'laH veS DaneHtaH  yItlhojqu'laH veS DaneHtaH  yItlhojqu'laH veS DaneHtaH  yItlhojqu'laH veS DaneHtaH  yItlhojqu'laH

''Reality is for people who can't handle drugs.''anonymous

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